NEW

I feel way better now. its almost thanksgiving and i feel great. im working out and i dont feel like killing myself anymore. i also decided im going to become a teacher. most likely a high school history teacher. im just sitting at robert's house gonna go home in a little bit. i just wanted to come say hi and update this thing.

college sucks

i dont think im going to have a college degree. ive basically given up now. i dont even want to go to school anymore i just feel like dying. i dropped 2 of my classes already and im having a hard time in my math class already. i feel like dropping that one 2. which im going to do right now. everything is too hard for me right now, and its even worse that im having trouble with my depression and bi polar. i just want to not do anything anymore. i just think college is not for me. and i really hope that girl doesnt ask for my book because i dont trust her that she would bring it back in perfect condition. but i noe that god is walking with me keeping me sane, hes really the only thing i have left.

 

this is what i sound like...

iNEEDaCAR

I NEED A CAR! i wish someone would buy me one. dam or that i had a job and enough money. dammit my life sucks. i things that i want :

1. a car

2. a job!

3. a yorkie puppy

those are what i want and kind of what i need. wanna give me them? lol nah. im just all bymyself just me and the dogs at my dads house waiting for my dad and stepmom to come home. im watching this show about a hippo that lives with people. its kinda werid. see that guy with me, hes like a radio DJ promoter for 104.3 its micah banks. hes pretty cool he remembers me everytime he sees me. well im going to go to ice palace later on, gotta meet my friend at the church then we gonna get a ride to ice palace. gonna be soooo fun. ranch chicken is good. im hungry right now. idk what im going to eat though.

sittin good

just sitting down at my dads house. watching slient libary. its funny. waiting for a friend. little dog by my feet. watching runs house now. its hot. super hot. see that lil dog. i meet him at the park on the 4th of july. his name was westley. he is a yorkie, kinda like my dog but my dog is bigger then him. my dogs name is gizmo. i love westley he was so cute. well right now i wanna watch twilight again. i cant wait till new moon comes out. im almost done with the series im on ecilpse right now. litte tiny dog was soo cute.

dont know wat to write i thought if i blogged i could cut off some of the boredom that i feel but im just paying attention to the tv right now. i never watched the real world. never was interested. OMG ITS SOOOO HOT! im dying in this room. and the laptop is just making it worse. i wish i could see snow again. i miss it. even though it was so cold i liked playing in it. i wanna get a mini camcorder. it would be so cool i could record everything! it would be so fun. i wanna watch twilight!!! i hoep my friend wants to also. well im gonna go now. hopefully my friend comes fast.

NEWWWWPALs

ive recently been going to church alot. i hate is actually idk why. i think im just angry all the time idk. well im finally blogging on here. idk if anyone reads this shit anyway but oh well its my blog i can write watever i want. but i would like it if people actually payed attention to me. i wish alot of thigns actually i say actually alot. damm idk wat to talk about. well im at my friend kevins house with a bunch of nerdy guys but they are cool. well i thin im gonna tell my friend to read my blog so she knows wat goes on in my head. ive been not able to express my creativity for a while now. idk where to start. i wish i could express everything that is in my head my mind, my thoughts. eveything, even the things i dream about and i think of some pretty radical shit sometimes. liek zebras unicorns and flying animals things that are just crazy. i like to be random to. i think right now im just extremely bored so im just talking like nuts right now.

im very lonely, all the time. i have a boyfriend thats always mad at me and i hardly see. i wish i could just live with him already. i love him so much. but im still lonely i think i need more friends. idk wat i need. please tell me wat i need, plz? OMG! im so bored. i just txted someone hopefully they respond. no not yet they havent. there is some freaky japanese music in the background. its kinda werid. and someone keep swearing. see that girl in that pic? i feel like her. i feel like im being drowned in something i dotn want to be a part of anylonger. BUT I LOVE LIFE GROUP! my leader is the nicest, sweetest girl i have every met omg i love that girl. i tried to volunteer today at a kitten shelter, but it was closed! sick bastards. idk it just came to my head. i think i have a mild schizophrenia because i hear alot of scary shit sometime sthat i nknow nobody else hears. my friend says its the devil but i just think im mentally ill.

man i have this secret inside of me that i wish i could let out but i know it would just scare people off if i told them. its driving me crazY! HOWEOJMNALj! i wish i had some paint right now i would just paint this whole dam wall in front of me. some dark blue paint. yesssss rub it everywhere. muhaha. craziness. well im getting bored of this so im gonna go.././

WoW is COOL

hehe i recently have gotten into WOW (World of Warcraft) it really fun! im like totally addicted to it right now. but hopefully when i get a job i wont be playing alot like i do. im just happy that i actually applied to some places esp GAMESTOP. i really hope i get that job it would be sooo cool! lol ok im starting to sound dum. oh well here u can see my beautiful night elf Ninava. i meant to name her Nineveh after a ancient city of babylon.